Team£¬ I'm afraid I have bad news
At 7£º1 5 this morning£¬ the terrorists carried out their attack
- What? - But how can that be?
Gary stopped the terrorists in Cairo
It appears now that I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. was wrong
about the Chechnyans being in charge
That was bad£¬ I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E
- Very bad I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. - I'm sorry
We have to find out who did this and take them down. Fast
Sir,I am intercepting communications about the terrorists' identities
On screen
This is breaking news with Peter Jennings
An attack in Panama today has left thousands dead
Taking credit were terrorists from Derka Derkastan
Of course£¬ Derka Derkastan
The terrorists claim that the attack was a retaliation
for Team America's actions in Cairo
Alec Baldwin is rallying all the members of the Film Actors Guild
- Alec Baldwin? - Gary?
He's my hero
The single greatest actor of all time
Who is to blame for these attacks in Panama?
The terrorists?
The person who supplied them with WMDs?
No. Blame Team America
Their reckless disregard in Cairo brought on this violence today
Team America£¬ the blood of the victims of Panama is on your hands
Moved by Baldwin's impassioned speech
hundreds of people turned out at Mount Rushmore today to protest
Hey£¬ that's here
Tom,it looks like filmmaker Michael Moore
is also jumping on the ¡°Fuck Team America¡± bandwagon
Protesting is not enough
We must take radical action against the fascists in our own country
Bring it down£¡ Bring it all down£¡
Team£¬ if the Derka Derkastanis have weapons of mass destruction
I'm afraid it could be 9/1 1 times 1 £¬000
- Jesus£¬ you mean¡­? - Yes
Nine hundred and eleven thousand
Then forget all these assholes. We got work to do
Yes£¬ let's get Gary valmorphanized so he can use his acting
My acting?
My acting? My acting just got a thousand people killed
Jesus£¬ I've done it again
Pull yourself together£¬ Gary. We need you now more than ever
- I'm through with this. - Gary£¬ you can't go
Without you£¬ the team is doomed
Remember£¬ there is no ¡°I¡± in Team America
Yes,there is
I know it's hard£¬ Gary
But you're still the only hope to stop these newer terrorists
Why me? Why am I the only one?
Because you're the one with the power to--
Well£¬ I don't want the fucking power£¡
I don't want the guilt£¬ I don't want the shame
and I don't want the responsibility
Then what about all the things you promised last night?
You said you'd never leave
I said I'd never die. But now I'm dead inside
You slept with Gary?
- Sarah. - But you knew I liked Gary
I told you
You like Gary?
Oh£¬ I see
- I didn't plan on it happening£¬ Sarah. - Save it£¬ Lisa
You see? All I do is hurt people
Gary£¬ you didn't kill your brother. Those gorillas did
I'm sorry I'm not the man you think I am
I'm just bad news
I'll never act again
Fuck him. We don't need an actor
We can take out the Derka Derkastanis
the old-fashioned way
No. It would be a suicide mission
That's all right. I feel a little bit like dying
Goddamn it£¬ Gary
America Fuck,yeah
Coming again to save The motherfucking day,yeah
America Fuck,yeah
Freedom is the only way Yeah
Terrorists,your game is through
'Cause now you have to answer to
America Fuck,yeah
America Fuck
Gary! Help me! Get this thing off of me! Gary!
All right£¬ team. We're nearing Derka Derkastan
Let's get ready
Look out£¡ We've got terrorist aircraft
There's only five of them£¬ team. This should be easy
I've got Korean aircraft at 1 o'clock
What are they doing here?
Shoot them down. Rike dogs
Kim Jong ll? Why is he helping terrorists?
I've got one on my tail£¡
I got you£¬ Sarah
Bring in the submarines
What the hell? Something's shooting at us from the water
- It must be a Korean sub. - Chris£¬ you've gotta take them out
I'm already on it
These guys really snuck up on us
Yeah£¬ there's a lot of that going around lately
Sarah£¬ you know I didn't mean to hurt you
No£¬ you just didn't care if you did
Now£¬ come on£¬ Sarah£¬ that isn't fair
Lisa can't help it if Gary has feelings for her
Just like nobody can help it if you have feelings for Gary
What is that supposed to mean?
Oh£¬ come on£¬ Sarah. You mean you never realized
Joe has feelings for you?
Joe? But you're like a brother to me
That's all I ever am. Like a brother. It isn't fair
Hang on£¬ team. Someone has broken into the hangar
- Baxter? - Hey£¬ Team America
I got something for you
- What the hell? - Prepare to die
Jesus titty-fucking¡­
¡­Christ£¡
Spottswoode£¡
Oh£¬ my God£¡
No. He can't be dead
We've lost I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E
I repeat,we have no I.N. T.E.L.L.I. G.E.N. C.E
Their computers are down. Attack£¡
- Sarah£¡ - I sense I'm going down
Sarah£¡ God£¬ Chris£¬ you gotta help her
I'm on it. Just hang on£¬ Sarah
Oh£¬ fuck£¬ I've been hit
Chris£¬ come in
- Oh£¬ Jesus£¬ I'm hit£¡ - Lisa£¡
- Going down. - Goddamn it
I'm gonna have to breach
I'm gonna hit the water
Missile lock. I've got missile lock
I've gotta bail out
Salvage their ships. If you find anyone arive£¬ you know what to do with them
Terrorists on screen
Okay£¬ who brew up Panama Canal?
We were angry about Cairo
Goddamn it£¬ how many times do I have to tell you?
You don't use the WMDs until you see the signal
I have worked ten years on this pran
It is a very precise and a compricated pran
I am sick of you terrorists fucking it up
Now£¬ take the weapons where I told you
and wait for the goddamn signal this time. Goodbye
Why is everyone so fucking stupid?
Why aren't more people interrigent? Rike me?
I'm so ronery
So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone
There's no one Just me onry
Sitting on my rittle throne
I work rearry hard And make up great prans
But nobody ristens No one understands
Seems rike no one Takes me seriousry
And so
I'm ronery
A rittle ronery
Poor rittle me
There's nobody I can rerate to
Feel rike a bird in a cage
It's kind of sirry But not rearry
Because it's firring my body With rage
I'm the smartest,most crever Most physicarry fit
But nobody else seems to rearize it
When I change the world Maybe they'll notice me
And until then
I'lljust be ronery
Yeah,a rittle ronery
Poor rittle me
I'm so ronery
What would you do
Ifyou were asked to give up Your dreams for freedom?
What would you do if asked To make the ultimate sacrifice?
Hey£¬ weren't you the actor in that Broadway show?
Hey£¬ yeah£¬ it is you. Do that scene where everyone gets AIDS
I don't act anymore. I gave that up
- Oh£¬ come on£¬ man£¬ just a scene. - I said£¬ get away from me£¡
I'm completely lost. I've hit rock bottom
Easy£¬ easy. You gotta calm down there£¬ Chuck
I hurt people. I'm a dick
Well£¬ being a dick ain't so bad
See£¬ there are three kinds of people£º
Dicks£¬ pussies and assholes
Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just wanna fuck all the time
without thinking it through
But then you got your assholes£¬ Chuck
And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything
So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while
because pussies get fucked by dicks
But dicks also fuck assholes£¬ Chuck
And if they didn't fuck the assholes£¬ you know what you'd get?
You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit
All right£¬ that does it. Get out of here£¬ you drunk lowlife
Get out of here£¬ I said
Lisa£¡
Lisa. Lisa£¬ are you here?
Get out of the street£¬ you fucking bum£¡
You gave up on life£¬ didn't you?
My fellow actors£¬ we live in a dark time
The world is becoming more and more violent
and the idiots in charge are making it worse
What the world needs is an international advisory committee
who truly understands global politics
Namely£¬ us
The time has come for us to start using our acting talents
in a different way
Yes£¬ we can use our powers to change the world
We will persuade everyone to drive hybrid cars and stop smoking
If we focus our acting on global politics
we can change everything and stuff
As actors£¬ it is our responsibility to read the newspapers
and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion
Matt Damon
We've all done action films
If anyone tries to get in our way£¬ we'll show them just how tough
us actors really are
I'm glad you all agree
Because I've just been contacted by a very important political leader
who is bringing all the world leaders together
for a massive international peace conference
And he wants us to be the keynote speakers
Matt Damon£¡
Say hello to our new partner
Herro
Stop it£¡ Stop it£¬ you're killing him£¡
I'm gonna fucking kill you£¡
You're not in a position to kill anyone£¬ my red£¬ white and brue friend
So you're the bastard planning 9/1 1 times 1 £¬000
No. You think so small
You see£¬ I'm about to have an eraborate peace ceremony
And while all the world's most important people are distracted here
I will detonate the WMDs
which I have given to terrorists arr around the grobe
It will be 9/1 1 times 2£¬356
My God£¬ that's-- I don't even know what that is
Nobody does
You heartless bastard. Why would you do such a thing?
Because then there will be barance
Every country will be a Third World country
Just imagine it
All around the world,there will be massive exprosions
With nobody to guide them
the people will break out into panic and rioting all over the earth
The true nature of humanity is unreashed
Dog eats dog,as everyone attacks everyone
and fends only for themselves
Grobal stabirity unravels
By the time my show is over,it will be far too rate
Your plan will fail
You'll never keep the world leaders distracted here for nine hours
Oh£¬ no? I've got Arec Barrwin
Dear God
You are the rast of a dying breed£¬ the frag-waving American
Well£¬ your rittle dream will soon be over
I must get back to pranning the ceremony now
The film actors are on their way
Perhaps they'll stop in and say herro
Having so little faith in humanity must make you a very lonely man
You shall have a front-row seat
Bring her upstairs
Leave her alone£¬ you son of a bitch£¡
Lisa£¬ I treasure your friendship£¡
Somebody has to stop this£¡
I miss you more than Michael Bay Missed the mark
When he made Pearl Harbor
I miss you more than that movie Missed the point
And that's an awful lot,girl And now
Now you've gone away
And all I'm trying to say
Is Pearl Harbor sucked
And I miss you
I need you like Ben Affleck Needs acting school
He was terrible in that film
I need you like Cuba Gooding Needed a bigger part
He's way better than Ben Affleck And now
All I can think about is your smile
And that shitty movie too
Pearl Harbor sucked
And I miss you
Pearl Harbor sucked
Just a little bit more Than I miss you
Oh£¬ my God. What the hell happened?
Hello? Anybody?
Greetings,Mr. Johnston
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.£¬ what the hell happened?
Our base was attacked by a giant socialist weasel
But where's the team?
They have been taken prisoner by Kim Jong Il in North Korea
I have intercepted communications that he is planning
the massive attack during a peace ceremony
Don't move£¬ protester£¬ or I'll blow your commie brains out
- Spottswoode. - Johnston?
What the hell are you doing here?
Get away from I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E
I'm using it to blow up North Korea
No£¡ The team is in North Korea
I know. And so are the triggers to WMDs poised all around the globe
My only option now is to blow up Kim Jong ll
and everything around him before he can set them off
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.£¬ initiate detonation sequence on the ships
You'll kill them all
It's what they would want me to do£¬ Gary
They would happily give their lives for the good of the world
- something you don't understand£¡ - There has to be another way
There's nobody left to stop Kim Jong ll
Let me go
You? You're a buttfucking quitter
You walked out£¬ Gary. The team went on a mission without you
And without an actor£¬ they were like pigs to the slaughter
I'm supposed to leave the fate of the world in your hands?
I know I walked out£¬ but I'd do anything to take it back
- Please£¬ just let me help. - You've done enough
Please£¬ Spottswoode£¬ you have to believe in me
I want to beIieve in you£¬ Gary£¬ I really do
But you've let me down before
Please£¬ how can I make you trust me?
I remember the first time we met
You were a simple Broadway actor afraid to get in my limo
because you thought I wanted you to perform oral sex on me
Do you remember that?
Yeah
And now the tables are turned£¬ and I don't know if I can trust you
Just give me a chance
All right£¬ I'll trust you
But only if you¡­
¡­will perform oral sex on me
- What? - Right here£¬ right now
- You can't be serious. - Oh£¬ I am serious
Look£¬ this is my serious face
- What will that prove? - It will prove that you are truly ready
to lay everything on the line
To throw away all your inhibitions and give 1 00 percent
We must go back to that first night we met£¬ that first issue of trust
- Don't you see? - No. I thought you weren't gay
This isn't about sex£¬ Gary£¬ it's about trust
It's the eye of the needle£¬ Gary£¬ and we must both pass through it
Okay£¬ let's do it
I'll make sure nobody's watching
Yeah£¬ it looks clear
Okay£¬ go
There must be another way
I guess you won't do everything to take it all back£¬ will you£¬ Gary?
No£¬ no£¬ no. Wait£¬ wait£¬ hold on
You're saying if I do that£¬ you'll let me help the team?
I'll give you all the time I can
Okay£¬ let's do it
Here we go
And go
You are dedicated
Now£¬ let's go get cleaned up
If you're going to storm Kim Jong ll's palace single-handed
we have to make you a complete soldier in very little time
How we gonna do that?
I think I know just what we need
The hour's approaching To give it your best
And you've got to reach your prime
That's when you need to put yourself to the test
And show us a passage of time
- We're gonna need a montage - Montage
- It takes a montage - Montage
Show a lot of things Happening at once
Remind everyone Of what's going on
And with every shot Show a little improvement
To show it all would take too long
- That's called a montage - Montage
- Girl,we want a montage - Montage
In anything,ifyou want to go
From just a beginner to a pro
- You need a montage - Montage
- Even Rocky had a montage - Montage
- Always fade out in a montage - Montage
Ifyou fade out It seems like more time has passed
- In a montage - Montage
Radies and gentlemen
The Film Actors Guild and Kim Jong ll are preased to welcome you
to the International World Peace Ceremony
The most important people from every country
are gathered here in soridarity to cerebrate peace
There will be music£¬ dancing and£¬ of course
the biggest stars in Horrywood
In the box to your reft is the mastermind of this spectacurar show
the multitarented Kim Jong ll
Oh£¬ herro
And now we present to you the very best in North Korean music
Ten years of pranning£¬ and finarry the night is here
The terrorists know to be in position by the time Arec Barrwin takes the stage
That's when I trigger all the WMDs to go off at the same time
When you see Arec Barrwin
you will see the true ugriness of human nature
Your plan will never work. Something will stop it
You stupid£¬ naive Team Americans
You berieve in true rove and happy endings
even while the world around you spirals downward
Sometimes believing is all we have
And as the leaders of your countries£¬ you have the power
to bring the world together under the principles of the Film Actors Guild
You're gonna knock them dead£¬ Alec
Ten minutes£¬ Mr. Baldwin
Who the hell you?
I'm with the Film Actors Guild. I'm here to help with the broadcast
Then you show credentials
Hey£¬ you don't need to see my credentials
I left them at home and I'm running late
- I berieve him. -Yeah£¬ me too
Okay£¬ have a nice day
My God£¬ his acting is better than ever
Don't worry£¬ fellas£¬ I've got my pass right here
Please£¬ Mr. Sheen£¬ Mr. Robbins
you don't understand what Kim Jong ll is doing
Shut up. We have explicit instructions to watch you
- Yeah. We're supposed to be guards. - We're guards
- We're guards£¬ huh? We're guards. - We're guards
Mr. Sheen£¬ Mr. Robbins. Someone has broken into the main hall
What? Come on£¬ Martin£¡
- Gary? - What the fuck are you doing here?
Guys£¬ are you all right? Where's Lisa?
What the heck do you care? You walked out on her
Look£¬ I wanna make things right
Here£¬ Spottswoode's monitoring from the base
- Spottswoode is dead£¬ Gary. - Not as dead as you think
- Spottswoode£¡ - Yes,I'm here,Joe
- All right£¬ you're alive£¡ - Great to hear your voices again
Now we've got to get Lisa and stop Kim Jong ll
I'm not going anywhere with this fucking traitor
What makes you think we'll take you back£¬ douchebag?
- We're doing this without you£¡ - Now,hold on,team
Gary has already proven to me
that he is 100 percent committed to the team
He proved it last night by sucking my cock
All right. Come on£¬ team£¬ we gotta find that stage
Rook how much they rove my show. The entire audience is so captivated
And now you see£¬ the new world is inevitabre
- It's what? - Inevita-- Inevitabre
- One more time. - Inevitabre£¡
Things are inevitabry going to change
Goddamn it£¬ open your fucking ears
- Five minutes£¬ Mr. Baldwin. - Thank you
- Alec£¬ we have a problem. - Team America escaped
What? You fools. They'll ruin everything
We better warn everyone. They'll be headed here
No. We can't look weak and powerless
If violence is all those bastards understand£¬ then violence they'll get
Every actor£¬ grab a gun and keep Team America
from reaching this ceremony at all costs
Qapla£¡
I swear they won't reach this stage
Jesus£¡ What have we got?
Looks like George Clooney and Liv Tyler£¬ 20 yards
Look out£¬ it's Ethan Hawke and Janeane Garofalo
Drop your weapons
Fucking die£¡
We gotta split up
Sarah£¬ you and Gary go that way. Chris and I will go right
No£¬ I think I'd rather team up with you£¬ Joe
I guess you're with me£¬ cockfag
- Danny Glover£¡ - Come on£¬ Penn
- We must protect the show. - Right
- The stage must be that way. - No. Joe£¬ Sarah£¬ it's a trap£¡
Very impressive£¬ warmongers
Now let's see how Kim Jong ll's panthers treat you
I went to Iraq£¬ you know£¡
- Susan Sarandon. - Oh£¬ thank God
We have to stop the ceremony. Kim Jong ll is mad
Here£¬ let me loose. I'll show you where the theatre is
- All right. - No£¬ Chris£¬ stay away from her
- Fuck you. She wants to help us. - No£¬ Chris£¬ she's acting
I am not. The others tied me up
because I wouldn't go along with their plans
Your skills are fading with age£¬ Miss Sarandon
You shall die a peasant's death£¡
Jesus titty-fucking Christ
I could've sworn she was telling the truth
That's why they call it acting. Come on£¬ we gotta find Lisa
I was 1 9 years old when the musical Cats came to our town
I couldn't wait to see it
After the show£¬ I was asked if I wanted to go meet
some of the performers backstage. Man£¬ I was thrilled
But when I got back there£¬ they were drunk and out of control
Rumpus cat and Macavity kept feeling up my leg
I tried to leave£¬ but Rumpleteazer held me down and¡­
¡­I was raped by Mr. Mistoffelees
That's why you don't trust actors
I'm sorry I've been so hard on you
If there's still a world left when this is all over
I'd like to buy you a beer
Come on£¬ let's go. We're running out of time
Sarah£¬ before we die£¬ I want to finally tell you that I love you
No. No£¬ I'm not gonna let it end like this
We are not your enemy£¬ furry ones. You will not attack us
Sarah£¬ that isn't going to work. You don't really have mental powers
Your captors are behind you£¬ Shebas. Show your anger to them
Sarah£¬ you did it£¡
Wait. Hold on
Spottswoode£¬ I think we just found the entrance to the theatre
Have Sarah and Joe lock on to our--
Gary£¡
- Actors£¬ ho£¡ - Helen Hunt
Samuel Jackson
Matt Damon
Motherfucker
Gary£¬ Chris£¬ come in
And now£¬ radies and gentlemen£¬ Mr. Arec Barrwin
We are here to usher in a new era without violence
By following the rules of the Film Actors Guild
the world can become a better place
that handles dangerous people with talk and reasoning
That is the F.A.G. way
One day you'll all look at the world us actors created and say
Wow. Good going£¬ F.A.G
You really made the world a better place£¬ didn't you£¬ F.A.G.?
Yes£¬ Arec Barrwin. Too bad there won't be a world reft
Oh£¬ God£¬ no
You see? No Prince Charming rode in on a white stallion to save the day
This is the real world
I'm afraid your world is over
In five minutes
Yes£¬ the ticking crock
Sorry£¬ Team America£¬ but you see£¬ we must live in a time of peace
Put down the gas can now
Kill them
Jackson£¡
Team£¬ you've got to hurry
Let's go£¬ bitch. I've done action films
Come on
Matt Damon£¡
Come on£¬ stop trying to hit me and hit me
Don't fucking move£¡
Now£¬ isn't that a shame
You came so close to stopping peace
But you see£¬ peace always finds a way
Goodbye£¬ Team America
I've just got one piece of bad news for you£¬ Robbins
- What's that? - I'm a smoker
Now that the world is going to be run peacefully
we should all drive hybrid cars
Right now famiries are gathering in parks
children are walking to school£¬ friends are sitting in movie theatres
All compretery unaware that the world is about to change forever
All because of me
Stop that man
Gary£¡
- Team America? - Goddamn it
Sorry to interrupt the show£¬ everyone£¬ but Kim Jong ll
is an international criminal. We're here to arrest him
Oh£¬ no£¬ you're not
This is a peace conference
And if you even try to touch Kim Jong ll
this audience and I will rise up against you
Fuck off£¬ Team America£¡
Team£¬ there's no time. You have to convince that audience
to let you do your job
- Gary£¬ you've got to take the stage. - No. I can't upstage Alec Baldwin
- He's the best actor in the world. - You have to try
- I'm not that good. - Actually¡­
¡­you're the finest actor I've ever met
Come on£¬ Gary£¬ hurry. You've got to act fast
I know you all don't like Team America a whole lot right now
but Kim Jong ll is a lot worse
You can't outact me£¬ boy. Don't even try
For the truth is that Team America fights for the billion-dollar corporations
They are just as bad as the enemies they fight
Oh£¬ no£¬ we aren't. We're dicks£¡
We're reckless£¬ arrogant£¬ stupid dicks
And the Film Actors Guild are pussies
And Kim Jong ll is an asshole
Pussies don't like dicks£¬ because pussies get fucked by dicks
But dicks also fuck assholes
assholes who just wanna shit on everything
Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way
But the only thing that can fuck an asshole
is a dick with some balls
The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much
- Or fuck when it isn't appropriate. - Yes£¬ Gary£¬ yes
And it takes a pussy to show them that
But sometimes pussies get so full of shit
that they become assholes themselves
Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes
I don't know much in this crazy£¬ crazy world¡­
¡­but I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole¡­
¡­we are gonna have our dicks and our pussies¡­
¡­all covered in shit
Show us what you're doing£¬ Kim Jong ll
Do something£¬ Arec Barrwin£¡
The-- Global warming and-- Corporate America--
You are worthress£¬ Arec Barrwin
Don't fucking move£¡ You were all going to be treated
to a faburous show. But now party's over
- For I am the great Kim Jong ll. - Lisa
And I am the greatest terrorist ever to have rived
Terrorize this
- Lisa£¬ are you okay? - No£¬ Gary£¬ the countdown
You have to stop it
- What do I do? - Hit the big ¡°cancel¡± button£¡
- Gary£¬ how did you manage this? - Spottswoode helped me
Spottswoode? He's alive?
Lisa£¬ I'm crazy about you. Will you please forgive me if I--?
You had me at ¡°dicks fuck assholes.¡±
Attention. Attention,everyone
All you in the audience should go to your homes now
Your countries need you. But the world will be safe
thanks to a brilliant actor named Gary Johnston
Let me explain to you the kind of man Gary is
He's a man who knows
that when you put another man's cock in your mouth,you make a pact
A bond that cannot be broken
He's a man so dedicated that he will get down on his knees
and put that cock right in his mouth
Wait a minute. Look£¡
You have not heard the rast of Kim Jong ll
I will return£¡
You shall see. I will be back£¡
So rong£¬ earthrings£¡
We'll be here waiting for you£¬ Kim Jong ll
All right£¬ you guys£¬ I hate to break up this little party
but there's still a lot of bad guys out there
Well£¬ then let's go show the bad guys the police are back in force
Fuck£¬ yeah
America
America Fuck,yeah
Coming again to save The motherfucking day,yeah
America Fuck,yeah
Freedom is the only way Yeah
Terrorists,your game is through
'Cause now you have to answer to
America Fuck,yeah
So lick my butt And suck on my balls
America Fuck,yeah
What you gonna do When we come for you now?
It's the dream that we all share
- It's the hope for tomorrow - Fuck,yeah
- McDonald's - Fuck,yeah
- Wal-Mart - Fuck,yeah
- The Gap - Fuck,yeah
- Baseball - Fuck,yeah
- NFL - Fuck,yeah
- Rock 'n' roll - Fuck,yeah
- The Internet - Fuck,yeah
- Slavery - Fuck,yeah
Fuck,yeah
Everyone has AIDS
- My grandma and my dog Ole Blue - AIDS,AIDS,AIDS
- The pope has got it and so do you - AIDS,AIDS,AIDS,AIDS,AIDS
Come on,everybody We got quilting to do
AIDS,AIDS,AIDS AIDS,AIDS
We're gonna break down These barricades
Everyone has AIDS,AIDS,AIDS,AIDS,AIDS
AIDS,AIDS,AIDS,AIDS,AIDS AIDS,AIDS,AIDS,AIDS
AIDS,AIDS,AIDS,AIDS AIDS,AIDS
Freedom isn't free
It costs folks like you and me
And if we don't all chip in We'll never pay that bill
Freedom isn't free
No,there's a hefty fucking fee
And ifyou don't throw in Your buck o'five
Who will?
Buck o'five
Freedom costs a buck o'five
Only a woman
Can brighten up my day
Only a woman
Can touch me the right way Yeah
Only a woman
Is allowed to touch me there
All I ask Is that you're a woman
I'm so ronery
So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone
There's no one Just me onry
Sitting on my rittle throne
I work rearry hard And make up great prans
But nobody ristens No one understands
Seems rike no one Takes me seriousry
And so
I'm ronery
A rittle ronery
Poor rittle me
I need you like Ben Affleck Needs acting school
He was terrible in that film
I need you like Cuba Gooding Needed a bigger part
He's way better than Ben Affleck And now
All I can think about is your smile And that shitty movie too
Pearl Harbor sucked
And I miss you
Why does Michael Bay Get to keep on making movies?
I guess Pearl Harbor sucked
Just a little bit more Than I miss you
Show a lot of things Happening at once
- Remind everyone of what's going on - What's going on
And with every shot Show a little improvement
To show it all would take too long
- That's called a montage - Montage
- Girl,we want a montage - Montage
In anything,ifyou want to go From just a beginner to a pro
- You need a montage - Montage
- Even Rocky had a montage - Montage
- Always fade out in a montage - Montage
Ifyou fade out it seems like More time has passed
I was sent from planet Gyron To conquer the Earth
I had a terrific pran I thought it would work
Tried to get the earthrings All to kill each other,you see
But it all went wrong And now I must decree
You are worthress,Arec Barrwin You are worthress,Arec Barrwin
You failed in every way And now my stock in you has farren
Your career is starring And you're worthress,Arec Barrwin
That's why I brew your head off And your children are all bawring
Pranet Gyron is inhabited With Zypods rike me
But also with Barmacks Who are giant bees
The Zypods and the Barmacks Are at constant war
So we wanted a new home And that's what Earth was for
But you are worthress,Arec Barrwin You are worthress,Arec Barrwin
You fucked up my whole pran
And now Gyron is smeared With Barmack porren
Your garbage needs some hauring And you're worthress,Arec Barrwin
Now I must return home a failure
I'm afraid the Pit of Cryrock Is carring